As of now, there is nothing I want more (concerning the likes of you) than to move on from my crush on you. However, moving on always has its complications and issues that just recently, I realized that what I perceived as acceptance was merely ignorance. I felt a twinge of pain in my heart that day when I accidentally saw what I wasn’t supposed to. Maybe, just maybe— I was actually fated to see it in order to come to such realizations.
Honestly, if it weren’t for someone’s presence and my immense care for his emotional well-being, I would’ve had more difficulty coming to terms with the situation. Right— I may not have completely moved on from our mess, but I have someone who is giving me a reason to move one. I have someone who is highlighting the positive things about myself that I neglect to believe, but know. And maybe, what I’m trying to say at the end is that I’m sure you need someone of that figure too.
Knowing you and what I’ve come to observe in the past 6-7 weeks, you’ll tell me that I don’t understand everything and that I have no right to make such assumptions. You’re right— I don’t, but what I do know is that I see something that I think you’re neglecting to realize or having difficulty coming to terms with.
Who are you really? What you’ve been trying to do is find that ideal image and maybe you’ve found it in a certain confidante, but is it necessarily you? You say that you are no one and maybe that is true, but not in the perspective that you try to explain. You are a no one because you fail to make a statement of who you are— you fail to realize and show who you are. This all boils down to the fact that you’re trying to be someone who you are not and maybe, that’s the reason people can’t connect with you amidst your friendly nature.
My pieces of advice are to give up trying to be something you’re not and to let go of the past.
I’m not saying to forget about the past, but to let go— to stop dwelling. Things happen for a reason contrary to the belief that the world wants to spite you. Maybe, you needed those failures and bitter moments to learn and realize what you have failed to notice. You’ve had someone who didn’t want to care and you’ve had someone who wanted to; that is two sides of a coin.
I have one more piece of advice, but I think it’s better to say it to you once we start talking again. As to when that is, only time will tell.